Starting my journey as a private life coach and health visitor, I quickly noticed something alarming: mums everywhere were raging. They were overwhelmed, anxious about their moods, and felt like they were constantly falling short. The anger wasn’t just surface-level—it was rooted in deeper frustrations. They felt unsupported, burdened by impossible expectations, and worst of all, many believed they needed to be someone they weren’t.
But what if, instead of striving to be someone else, you focused on being you? Genuinely, what would that look like? What does the authentic version of you enjoy doing with your children? I’m not talking about the idealized “fantasy version” of you—the one that Pinterest and Instagram tell you to be. I'm talking about the real, true version of you as a mum.
It’s hard to find this sometimes. We get so caught up in the expectations and pressures of motherhood that we lose sight of who we are at the core. The media and society give us a picture of a "perfect mum," which usually looks nothing like the person we are. This unrealistic standard leaves many mums feeling like they’re failing. But what if you’re not? What if being the best mum means simply being yourself?
Finding Your Authentic Self: Journal Prompts for Mums
To help you reconnect with you, try working through these journal prompts:
Who am I when I’m with my children? Reflect on moments when you feel most like yourself. What are you doing? How do you interact with your kids? How does this feel?
What does the “ideal mum” in my head look like? Describe her. Is she always calm? Is she super organized? Write it all down—this will help you see what unrealistic expectations you're setting for yourself.
How do I really want to spend time with my kids? Forget about what you think you should be doing. What activities make you and your kids happiest together? Is it messy play, spontaneous trips, or just chilling at home?
When do I feel most frustrated as a mum, and why? Identify the triggers that make you feel overwhelmed or rage. Is it the pressure to do everything perfectly? Is it the fear of not being “enough”?
How can I show myself compassion today? What would it look like to give yourself grace in motherhood? What would you do differently if you accepted that you’re already a great mum?
What do I need more of in my life right now? This can be anything—more rest, more support, more alone time. Pinpointing this is key to understanding how you can better care for you.
Let Go of the Perfect Mum Myth
One of the hardest yet most important lessons I’ve learned in my work is that there is no “perfect” mum. Trying to be her will only exhaust you. The mums I work with feel freer, lighter, and more connected to their families when they let go of those impossible ideals and start showing up as themselves.
And that’s the mum your kids need. They don’t need the version of you that’s striving to be flawless. They need you—with all your quirks, preferences, and strengths. Your realness is what they’ll remember and appreciate.
Motherhood doesn’t have to look like a social media highlight reel. Embrace your true self, and in doing so, you’ll create more joy—not just for you, but for your entire family.
Take some time today to reflect on who you really are as a mum. And remember: your real self is more than enough.
Ditch the Perfect Mum Myth: Embracing Your True Self Through Self-Care
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